Sling in newspaper, nearly

This is an account of the first time I walked along a public beach with so many people so close. It was captured by a surf photographer and nearly ended up on the front page of the local newspaper.

It was an overcast day with a good swell for surfers when I arrived at the beach and noticed it was near high tide. This meant there was not much space (about 20 meters) between the sea and the sand dunes. Almost everyone on the beach was sitting on the join where the sand dunes met the beach and a few were standing on the dunes watching the surfing. My quick estimate of the number of people present turned out to be 50% wrong.

I'd walked from my house to the beach in my yellow five inch wrap and sat on the beach trying to decide how I should continue. The first choice was to continue walking. A second was to remove my shirt leaving my sling and wrap. Finally, remove both and wear only my bright yellow slingshot bikini.

The first choice was my initial decision until I noticed there were no children present because it was a school day. So topless it would be. Time to think about removing my wrap. I recalled having to find the right shirt because of the way it tended to ride up my butt whilst walking. It was difficult to predict where the material would end up, to high or to low? It then occurred to me that once the shirt was removed the micro mini wrap didn't do much to hide my swimsuit.

I pulled my shirt off, folded it up and put it my bag. My wrap followed leaving my sitting on the beach wearing a tiny piece of swim wear. Standing up, I took a deep breath. Last chance to chicken out. My right foot moved forward and I was off trying to walk slowly with measured paces, with my shoulders back and stomach tensed.

The first person I passed was a women who had just swapped a surf board for a camera and was sitting on the beach. I'd just about passed her when I noticed four men slightly further along were looking in my direction. My mind was like a cartoon. The angel said “stop” the devil said “don't be a wimp this time. Just keep walking and breathing.”

Out of the corner of my eye I started to wonder if one of the men was holding a camera. The devil came back saying “they have never seen such a small swimsuit, you don't care if they film or photograph your bikini.” I passed them and the beach was clear for the next three minutes.

There were two people carrying surf boards walk along the beach towards me. There were two groups of people standing on the sand dunes. One was a group of four whilst the other had only three people. Should I pass closer to the seven people or pass between the surfers and the sea?

I realized there was not much space for the latter option so decided to keep the audience on my left and the surfers on my right. It was at about this time both surfers turned and looked down the beach I would be walking. One said something I couldn't make out.

Once past them I noticed a number of groups ahead and realized there were more people than I'd estimated at the beginning. My mind said “You've passed 15 people already, its just the same again or maybe a few more.” I decided to keep going.

I noticed some movement ahead and saw the sun glint of a metallic surface. It seemed to take me about 20 seconds to realize it was a camera tripod owned by a surf board photographer and that their massive telescopic lens was no longer focused on surfers. I realized the surfer must have shouted the photographers name.

It was at this point I nearly left the beach until I thought about it. “With a lens like that they must have already taken some good quality photos or video clips. What is the point of quiting?” I noticed almost everyone ahead was watching the tiny slingshot bikini coming towards them. “They've seen you and your small swimsuit. It's too late to stop now! Keep going.”

There were five people on the sand dunes above the photographer who was talking to two people standing with him. There were four people standing on the sand dune just beyond them with another four lying on the beach. I counted sixteen people by the time I reached the photographer and a comment he said made me forget the count.

The lens was not designed to take photos up close, so he was free to say “You'll be on the front of the local newspaper...”. It was at this point I heard a whistle from the sand dune but I think he said “...next week.” I nearly fainted until a burst of adrenaline kicked in.

Picture the scene.

I was within 50 meters of at least sixteen people wearing a tiny yellow slingshot bikini. The swimsuit consists of a seven inch high patch of material which is about three inches wide. It held in place by 3mm black strings which stretch from the top of the patch to either side of my shoulders before they straight down the back. They become like dental floss when then pass the butt before joining the bottom of the patch. Tension holds the strings away from the back which can cause it to vibrate in the wind.

This was the first time I'd worn such a small piece of swim wear whilst walking past such a large number of people who were so close. Normally, I just sunbath in a place with gives beach goers a choice. If they want to checkout my small swimsuit they can pass nearby or they can decide to keep there distance. About 20% decide to get closer while 5% get really close.

It was about 60 seconds later when I realized my pace had increased. I'd been thinking about those watching, photographing or filming the back strings of the bikini. My pace stayed at the faster rate for the next ten minutes although there was nobody ahead. I left the beach at the quay wearing a larger swimsuit rather than my wrap. The path home was up main street, past some social clubs, a swimming pool and a couple of local shops. A challenge to far.

This account was written on the day I did this. Writing it made me start to wonder if the photo would really get onto the front page of the local newspaper. It seemed unlikely given the type of articles and photographs they feature. It was also a random weekday so it seemed unlikely their photographer would be at the beach just taking random shots of surfers.